September Issue - Community Spotlight: The Wayward Son Tavern

by Fiammeta M. Castelon

Well, I went down to Stormwind town,
and I was feeling parched.
I saw a gray old beggar,
sitting 'neath a great stone arch.
I said, Hey old man, could ye tell me,
where can I get an ale?
He said, I know the best place in town,
and I won't tell no tales.

From the highest boughs of the Elves great tree,
to the deepest Dwarven cavern.
You'll never find a better place,
than The Wayward Son Tavern!

The staff is always friendly,
and the bar is always stocked.
The crowd is always lively,
when it comes round 7 o'clock.
When you've drained your stein of all its ale,
they'll gladly bring you more.
Just take the weapons off your belt,
leave your battles at the door .

From the highest boughs of the Elves great tree,
to the deepest Dwarven cavern.
You'll never find a better place,
than The Wayward Son Tavern!

Doesn't matter if your human,
elvish, draenei, dwarf, or gnome.
The Son is guaranteed to be,
your home away from home.
So when you've had enough of war,
and you're weary of battlegrounds.
Come down to The Wayward Son,
And order up another round!

From the highest boughs of the Elves great tree,
to the deepest Dwarven cavern.
You'll never find a better place,
than The Wayward Son Tavern!

You may occasionally hear this song as you travel the busy streets of Stormwind. Why you ask? Nestled in scenic Stormwind Park is The Wayward Son Tavern. Though it has not always been known under this name. Let us begin with a brief history lesson.

Some years ago the tavern was founded under the name The Crimson Jewel and operated by Kitra Aeldron. Rumor has it that due to a number of incidents the original management abandoned the building as “cursed” and moved their business to Iron Forge. The tavern remained orphaned until a young man by the name of Robert Forcythe applied for the deed, it was he that renamed the tavern The Wayward Son. However, it was not long after this that Forcythe was murdered. Eventually the deed for the building passed into the hands of Shiawase Deeproots and with he rumored to be missing the Retribution of Arathor has assumed general ownership. These occurrences perhaps giving credence to the rumored curse the building holds.

A draenei woman by the name of Aantelah, who had worked with Shiawase, took over organization in his absence. As a member of The Servitors of Lothar she has enlisted numerous members of the order to aid in keeping the tavern going. The Retribution of Arathor is also once again contributing to keeping the tavern operational. And so, The Wayward Son seems to have lifted any curse darkening its door, and prospers as a business.

Any potential patrons should note that the Son has become no quiet hole in the wall. If you intend to visit, be prepared. Upon interviewing some of the staff we heard tales of drunken brawls, amorous undead gnomes, druidic bears hanging from the chandelier, and a bartender that enjoys setting drinks on fire. That said, you will rarely find yourself without entertainment.

Drink and dining at the Son is second to none. The menu changes from night to night with samplings from a variety of cultures. One night you may be welcomed with a selection of Kal'dorei delicacies, the next a gnomish array of sweets.

If you find yourself in Stormwind we recommend you drop in and form your own opinions on the colorful experience that this tavern provides. You will find the Wayward Son open Mondays from seven to nine o'clock in the evening and Tuesdays from six to eight o'clock in the evening.

We leave you with these comments from the patrons:

“I love it (bartending). I get to see new people, cook new food, I can hear about places I haven't seen yet. It's nice to serve too.” - Qualiniel Aew'Lira

“Oh it's wonderful. Friendly lot. Best service I've had in awhile.” - Anon.

"It's a home... as close to one as a bar could be. It's where I worked to start knowing people better, well... above their waists anyway, and it's where I'd fallen in love. Plenty of things change in life.. but the Son is always there, always open, and always inviting." - Brudinna Ainua

“Tha bar sems gewd enough for meh purposes. Clean kill as ta the best place ta get a mug this side o'Ironforforge.” - Ish Cairnheart

“The food is good.” - a Gnome

“ I think, that the Wayward Son is a very nice place to, come and eat, and to get something to drink, and to, um, socialize, with friends, and with, um, more than friends, and, people who are not friends yet, but will be!” - Davvi DoLittle

September Issue - Ask Asteris

by Philomene Asteris

-'My husband has an unhealthy love affair with hats... of all things. There are more hats in our dwelling then dwarves in Ironforge! What should I do?'


Dear Against Hats,

If your husband's love of elegant headgear is getting in the way of your marriage (or your path to the front door) you have only one option if you'd like to actually preserve your relationship. If not, feel free to continue stamping your foot and alienating your hat-adoring man. My advice to you, Against Hats, is to buy more hatracks and embrace this quirk; begin wearing hats of your own. Who knows? If he loves hats, and loves you, perhaps it'll spice up your love life.



-'T' brodda A' be workin wit' t'inks mi a 'arpy voiced bitc'. A' t'ink 'im tongue wags too mut'. Can A' cut out 'im tongue wit'out it startin' a war b'tween our tribes? If not... w'at can a sista' do?'


Dear Tonguecutter,

I would advise you to shut your mouth before complaining about someone else's verbal habits. Merely because one speaks does not mean one should do so. Silence has served me well over the years, and it is a habit I continue to practice a great deal of the time. Is it that you believe he speaks too frequently, or that you simply don't like what you're hearing? You might want to consider this before you do anything imprudent. But if all else fails I suppose you could bring a cow's tongue and some nails to your local witch doctor and see if that helps. After all, -your- hands would remain clean this way, yes?



-'I am sick of being judged because of my mixed blood... and even sicker still, watching long ears an' round ears bumping and grinding and making more of my kind. I don't have any question.. only a very loud STOP IT to be announced to all of you idiots who partake in this sort of behavior! Think of the things you will create before procreating outside of your race, and the insults they will suffer for you being unable to keep your legs shut!'


Dear Mixed Blood,

Though you did not have a question I shall be answering you anyway. It occurs to me that if you are so shamed by the prospect of mixed blood, perhaps you should do yourself a favor and contribute to your own nonexistence. After all, nobody wants to hear that sort of wailing. I advise you to take a serious look at yourself before you go blaming your troubles on the barbs of strangers, as it is clear this letter is only a vehicle for your own inner turmoil.



-'I am tired of being asked 'Can you fix my mechano-strider' or, 'Hey! I need a bomb! Make me a few...' or 'Can you repair my chopper? I think something came loose. And I'm tired of being scolded for lecturing people on the matter... how can I stress it to the tallsies without being rude, that just because I'm a Gnome.. doesn't mean I'm a tinkerer..... without setting their toes on fire?'


Dear Gadgetless Gnome,

If you do not wish to immolate those around you (a social gaffe, to be certain, in some circles) you could choose to employ some creativity in the matter: Stop in at Tinker Town and offer to take all the non-working gadgets off the hands of the apprentices. Distribute these to your boorish allies -- I am assuming these are the sort of people who think nothing of treating a gnome as a child merely due to stature, in which case nobody will miss them -- and you might find they will never come asking again, for one reason or another.



-"Say...that perhaps someone had done something stupid. For example, they may have found out they were pregnant eh? And what if, just being hypothetical, they had no idea who the father was. Would you suggest that, if they'd narrowed it down they approach every "donor" on the list? Or maybe they should just wait and see what the brat looks like?"


Dear Baking a Brat,

If you are planning on sending the result of the pregnancy off to the Orphanage, then it doesn't really matter who the father is. But if you are planning on raising this little baggage yourself, then indeed a bit of delicacy is required. Children make excellent leverage later, I have come to understand. If you would like one of the 'donors' involved, however... I would recommend either picking the most likely -- if risky subterfuge is your style -- or approaching all of the men frankly. After all, if you've been going around with so many, likely they know you're a whore anyway and will not judge you too harshly, since they were more than happy to dip their wick in the first place. Do write back and let me know how this turns out!



-"I'm in love with a man who is rich, tall, clever, handsome - and married. He's not faithful to her - I'm his mistress,and I know he loves me more. He's always dropping by to tell me how much he loves me, gives me little gifts, shares the latest news so we can have a laugh - you know, all the things men do when they care. I'd be ten times the wife she is - she's a useless, cloistered, pinchfaced girl who can't even cook, he only married her because she got knocked up. He was GOING to marry ME, I just know it! How do I get him to leave her? I'd appreciate any advice on the subject."


Dear Would-Be Wife,

Why would you want to be the wife? If he is so miserable in his marriage why are you lining up to be the next? Does it occur to you that you are a rather powerful position right now? For you, Would-Be, get the cream without having to skim it from the rest of the day's milking. Not only this, but you are still free to hunt a man who is both richer and taller, since these things seem to appeal to you. But if you are set upon this path, well, all you must do is befriend the wife. And then ruin her socially. Their marriage will surely crumble and he will soon be free to do as he pleases.

September Issue - Home and Hearth

by Cyda Gwae'nóna

In a time where it is considered easier to make your way to an Alchemists Lab, or the nearest Cathedral or Temple to cure an illness, often the simplest tried and true methods of tending common ailments have been all but forgotten. In this and the following articles I will be writing to share with those who would lend an ear, or at least wish to save a little gold, how to use the most common treatments with the highest efficiency and best outcomes. Today, I will write of one of the most familiar herbs one encounters on an everyday basis: Peacebloom.

It is perhaps the most widely used and known herb. It is found outside the gates of nearly every large city, but thrives best in mild climates and in areas with rich soil and full sun. The small white flower is a versatile herb that can be used to treat a wide variety of common ailments ranging from headaches, to skin rashes, sleeplessness, and upset stomachs. Proof enough of the plants medicinal usage is the fact that it is the first herb an alchemist is taught to harvest and use in various healing draughts.

There are several ways to prepare the herb, after harvesting the flower. The first and most common is to dry the bloom. To do this, one should cut the Peacebloom at the base of the plant where it sprouts from the earth, tie each handful off at the bottom and hang it from a high, dry place. Afterwards the head of the flower can be crushed and a spoon full placed in small gauze bags for tea, and soaks. Another method of of preparing Peacebloom is upon harvesting the plant, remove the flowering heads and grind them into a paste with the aid of a mortar, pestle and a dram of water for consistency.

When places in a tea, Peacebloom flowers are used internally for many common physical symptoms: a woman’s moontime cramps, indigestion, fever, colds, headaches, sleeplessness, vomiting, stress, nervousness, and poor digestion. For babies, the tea can be mixed with his mothers milk to treat symptoms of teething pain and colic. Externally, Peacebloom flowers can be ground into a paste and used to treat skin irritations such as blisters, infections, rashes, and burns. Lastly, dried Peacebloom flowers can be inhaled for breathing troubles and allergic issues such as asthma, and hay fever by steeping the gauze-bags in a teapot. Then with a towel draped over ones head and shoulders, breathe in deeply the steam issued forth for relief from that which plagues.

In closing, Peacebloom is a versatile plant that is relatively easy to harvest and prepare, however, I feel the need to remind that even healing herbs can turn poisonous if not prepared correctly and so, I would suggest visiting your local apothecary to pick up one of the many books available to the public, or ask for some instruction on the particulars.

September Issue - Whispers and Rumors

Now you better be sitting down for this, honey. Wait til you hear what my sources have been telling me lately...

A drunken sailor was heard running his craw in The Slaughtered Lamb. Swearing he saw the red sails of The Mercy last he was out to sea. Infamous pirate and scalliwag, Captain Daitaro Darksquall was listed as dead by the King's navy nearly three months ago, so either the navy is missing something or you should look out for ghost ships!

There seems to be a new character of interest loitering about the Wayward Son of late and offering to read your fortune of all things. If you're looking for a glimpse of your future (or just a good chuckle) keep an eye out for Adriano Moreau. Hard to miss, he looks like the sort you find selling you women in Goldshire or the Bay!

Brother Gideone Stone has been seen handing out goods to the needy near Northshire Abbey. No one seems the least bit concerned regarding his former stay in the Stormwind Stockades. So just what are you handing out there Brother?

A woman by the name of “Phillymena” has apparently had a miscarriage and shorn off all of her hair. If you can believe that, I suppose it's a good enough way to grieve. One has to wonder if this source is eluding to the person we think they are, but I'll let you figure that one out for yourselves.

Stormwind Navy officer Jocastia Silverwright's been seen in dealings with known former and current Defias operatives. Could be a double agent? Or maybe she just likes it when her men wear masks!

Recently, a Draenei affiliated with the Servitors of Lothar bought out the Ironforge Auction House's stock of stone, leather and fuses, common components of engineered explosives. This same Draenei was seen placing some "special orders" with merchants from Undermine. What do you think a draenei would blow up, mm? Maybe they should be keeping an eye on that buffet I heard sold out last week!

A Death Knight and ghoul have been seen nosing about the Stormwind docks, looking for work. Oddly, the ghoul had been the one doing all the talking, while its "master" didn't seem to be all there. No crew has brought either of them on to work yet. Gee, we wonder why?

Word on the street has it that the Slaughtered Lamb's "Happy Hour" does not in fact run from 4:00 till 7:00, but from 12:00 till 3:00 in the morning.

Draenic engineers working on the Exodar were overheard promising that the extraplanar ship will once again regain flight capabilities "sometime next century." Keeping on task boys!

It has been rumored that The Protective Hide doesn't use animal leather for their armor, and on another note, the amount of homeless people in Old Town has dropped significantly.

I heard that certain less scrupulous couples have done the deed inside the premises of the Wayward Son- even on the bar! That claim is outrageous, to be certain, but I wouldn't eat off of there if I was you. Some people. Last week the barmaid left midshift after apparently feeling ill. Take our advice and avoid the fish, honey!

We have a report from a man who is convinced his neighbor is crazy. He claims to have heard them yelling at each other and even to have seen flashes of fire through the window. And now the woman has only got one eye and her “giant” of a man is looking twitchy. What a public menace!

A child's grave was desecrated near Hillsbrad last week. There are no suspects. Could the Forsaken at Tarren Mill have done it? No one seems willing to talk about it.

A few hands have been threading through Southshore, looking for passage elsewhere. They say something unlucky happened at the Tanner Fields, near Hillsbrad, and they won't work there any more. 'If'n the place h'ain't cursed now, it will be. Just you see. I'm gettin' out nao, afor th' haint's come f'r what's theirs.'

Ser Edgthorn Asteris and his wife are not often seen together of late. Knight-Keeper Asteris has been 'keeping' to their farmstead near the Thandol Span, while Advisor Asteris is sleeping in her offices on Kalimdor - a whole continent away! The couple were married earlier this year. Could divorce be imminent?

Three nights ago, some children outside of Southshore say they saw a 'scary black devil' creeping around outside of town. A search was dutifully made by the constables, but there was no evidence of any supernatural creature. The witnesses were switched for lying and sent to bed without their supper.

A pack of gleaners sifting through the rubble of Old Dalaran report they saw 'funny lights' coming from the ruined castle at the center of the nearby lake. They did not investigate, as the entire shoreline there is infested with murlocs.

Refugees near the Greymane Wall have reported hearing howling at night.

September Issue -Getting Down to Nuts and Bolts: Engineering made Fun and Easy!

by Captain Boggus Blastofferson and Mekgineer Davvi Dolittle

Hello everyone! How are you? We hope you're doing well! If you're reading this article, then, you must have an interest in building all sorts of super neat machines and gadgets to make the lives of you, your friends and family much easier and more fun! Unless, you don't like engineering and are reading it by mistake. Either way, welcome! We hope you like what you read! We're excited!

Tools: An Engineer's Best Friends!

For our first article, Captain Blastofferson and I thought we might go over some of the basic tools that every engineer from the littlest Widgets all the way up to the High Tinker needs in order to work! While specialized tools and instrumentation can be super fun and may be required to assemble higher-level schematics, EVERY engineer has to have their hammers, screwdrivers, wrenches and measuring devices. Not everyone might need an oscilloscope, spark-gap meter or nethertron detector. What we'd like to do, is share some tips for choosing high-quality tools and give some recommendations based on our own experience, so that you new engineers might be able to start out right! Our first article is sort of long, but, it's super important!

Hammers:

The hammer is the first tool ever invented! Did you know that? Ideally, hammers are used to shape metal and to carefully drive different components into place. In practice, hammers can also be used to knock stubborn bits loose, smash icky bugs and perform “percussive maintenance” too. A good engineer is going to need several hammers in a range of sizes and head-styles for use in three main hammering situations. Small hammers with flat heads are recommended for delicate adjustments, while a ball-peen, Machinist's or Blacksmith's Hammer is desirable for general use and for heavy metalworking. Of our two favorite hammers, the Jacksprackle Double-Headed™ Hammer is best for delicate work like clockwork and general tinkering, while the Otten 303™ is heavier and a tiny little bit more useful on an anvil.

Screwdrivers:

Screws are great little inventions meant to secure pieces of a machine or device to the whole by means of a threaded metal rod. Screwdrivers are tools meant to tighten and loosen screws in their holes! These tools also come in many types and sizes, such as flathead, Phillips-Head and hexhead, and a new tinker is going to want to be sure to get one of each in every size they available! For the most part, bad screwdriver sets are hard to find, so as long as you are a careful shopper, you should be okay! However, please please please do NOT buy from the Doc Driver™ line! These “screwdrivers” are made from the cheapest metal available, and can torque and snap under pressure! Also, every size they make is just the tiniest bit off, leaving you with stripped screws and bad feelings! Don't buy them!

Wrenches and Spanners:

Wrenches and Spanners are tools that are used to tighten and loosen nuts, bolts and other rotary fasteners. Generally, the nuts and bolts that wrenches and spanners are meant to work on will have a hexhead, but there are some that have pentaheads or even triangular ones too! Hexheads are the most common though, so, we recommend that your wrench set accommodate this type. Of all the sets out there, Weth and Sisson's Wrenches™ are supposedly built from the best surgical-grade steel to the highest machine tolerances available today, but also cost a great deal of money! For both beginning tinkers and long-time mekgineers who can't spend so much gold, we would suggest that they buy the Aces Spanneriffic™ set instead! They are much better than some snooty engineers claim, are sturdy and have good weight and balance. Captain Blastofferson can spin and juggle them no problem, so, you know they're good!

Gyromatic Micro and Macro-Adjusters:

The Gyromatic Micro and Macro-Adjusters are some of the modern marvels of the workshop! The natural evolution of the screwdriver and the wrench, these devices are motorized to reduce the time it takes to fasten and unfasten long screws and bolts while at the same time providing more torque and power when you need to make super sure that what your screwing in or bolting on won't come loose! But, you might say, “Boggus! Davvi! Why do I need regular screwdrivers and wrenches now, if I have the super-neat motorized versions?” and we say, “Because, although some Micro and Macro Adjusters have built-in torque gauges and safeties, it's always best to use a manual model when working with delicate components!” Of all the Micro Adjustors out there, we both agree that the Micro Naut's Adjunctor™ is the absolute best with a steady, smooth rotation, many attachments and several power settings! On the Macro-end, the Goblin-made Zizzix 570™ has lots of speed and power, but, again, don't you try to use it on anything delicate!

Pliers, Vices and Clamps:

In addition to all the tools we've mentioned already, every engineer needs a good collection of pliers, vices and clamps in order to work! The vices and clamps share the function of being able to hold whatever you're working on, to the workbench or together, and buying these won't be too difficult as long a you can recognize quality in their construction. We would suggest that some of your clamps be made of wood too, for work on things you don't want to leave tool marks on. A good pliers set will also be needed to strip wires, bend metal, reach nuts and screws fallen into hard to reach places and perform all sorts of grabbing tasks that the other tools simply can't do! As far as the pliers go, we would recommend Crocolisk Pliers™, as they use really high-grade materials, and they make every sort of pliers imaginable!

Measuring Devices:

As far as measuring devices are concerned, any engineer is going to need a number of rulers, tapes, compasses and angle-irons before they even THINK of starting a project or even drawing up a schematic! Because of the nature of measuring tools, most you find from reputable supply houses will be good enough, but beware! While Gnomish Metric, Lordaeron Royal Measure and Quel'thallasian Measure are all regulated and standardized units, things like Kaldorei Cubits and Ogre-knuckles are not, and tend to vary depending on which Night Elf community the plans were drawn up in, or how big that ogre's hand is!

Well, Captain Boggus and I both really really hope that you enjoyed our article! We really really hope that you were able to learn something, even if you're not an engineer and read this article by mistake. For today, we want to let you know that every engineer has to be able to depend on their tools, and having the proper ones to do the job is super important! If you take care of your tools, your tools will take care of you! Be well, and, enjoy the rest of this fine publication!

September Issue - Ads

---------

FREE TO GOOD HOME

Kittens - six weeks old. Weaned, housebroken, good mousers. V. affectionate and loving. Mixed breed. Inq. by post through Refuge Pointe mail drop, willing to travel for delivery. contact: Kn-K. Ser Asteris, Sanctuary Farm, Arathi.

---------

NOTICE: Seasonal work upcoming in Northern Arathi. Rye, wheat and barley harvests will be ready in two weeks' time. Farmhands experienced with reaping and threshing should apply to M. Besson, Stormwind. References required.

---------

For Honor. For One Another.

The Retribution of Arathor is seeking willing applicants to swear to the Retribution. Contact Chancellor Judeann Auroran with qualifications if interested.

---------

---------

Interested in advertising with us? Give it a go! Sell a shirt, or find a date!

- Personal Ads - 5g

- Crafting Ads - 10g

- Guild Ads - 20g