December - Announcment!

November Issue - Breaking News!

Numerous citizens gone missing! Some are rumored to have joined the Twilight’s Hammer Cult. Others likely slain by rampaging elementals!

A dragon was spotted attacking Orgrimmar just this past month as well!

Our streets are not safe!

November Issue - Urgent Alert: World Being Shaken to Pieces!

A day has not passed within the past week without the occurrence of at least a dozen earth quakes! It seems as if our world is being shaken to its knees! What is the cause of this sudden surge in shaking? No one seems to know, and if they do they aren’t sharing it with the public.

The leaders of the Alliance have converged in Stormwind for discussions. Even the Wildhammer have come away from their peaks to make an appearance.

As for the Horde. Let me tell you, it’s troubling news indeed! It seems that the Warchief Thrall is going to be returning to Draenor in hopes the troubled elementals there will be able to offer advice or wisdom. This leaves young Hellscream in charge. He’s got some advisors but, really? Inside information leads us to believe this news has left the Alliance restless. Will Proudmoore’s treaties hold under yet more strain?

Cultists plague the cities and major roads, preaching the end of the world and it would seem city guards are unable to silence them fast enough. Unrest continues. Be aware and invest in unbreakables and helmets, dear readers!

November Issue - The Other Side of the Coin

Cultists claim: We just want to help!

“You've no doubt heard the phrase "all good things must come to an end" and so it is with your life on Azeroth. It won't be long before the world erupts into chaos as the elements reclaim their birthright.

But you don't have to be afraid during these harrowing times. You don't have to die. We can help you ascend to a new way of life, beyond death, beyond fear, and beyond the powerlessness of mortality.”

“We live in tumultuous times. War, invasion, and famine have swept the world, but the real trial is yet to come: the end of Azeroth itself.

How will you cope with the loss and destruction of everything you hold dear? The answer is that you don't have to. Bring your friends and family to one of our gatherings and learn how you can survive the apocalypse together, with us.”

“When the flames consume Azeroth, where will you be?

We know that no one wants to dwell on their impending doom, but it's worth thinking about where you'll be spending the hereafter.

Our sages have predicted that the end of the world is nigh, and only the prepared will survive. We can help you survive the raging inferno that will cleanse this world of the wicked. Isn't it time you found some peace of mind?”

November Issue - Getting Down to Nuts and Bolts: Engineering Made Fun and Easy

By Mekgineer Davvi Dolittle

Hello everyone! How are you? I hope you're doing well! If you're reading this article, then, you must have an interest in building all sorts of super neat machines and gadgets to make the lives of you, your friends and family much easier and more fun! Unless, you don't like engineering and are reading it by mistake. Either way, welcome! We hope you like what you read! I'm excited!

Training: How to get started learning all sorts of neat things!

In my first two articles, I wanted to talk, just a little bit, about all the different kinds of tools that an engineer needs to have in order to work, and, how every engineer from someone just starting out right on up to a grand master tinkerer needs to be very very aware of safety in the laboratory or workshop. However, now that we've talked about those two super important topics, I am super happy that I can talk to you this month about how new engineers can begin to train themselves, and learn the necessary skills and schematics to start building all the amazing and wonderful inventions to make life more fun and work less hard! I think that you'll see, that in our modern world, there are all SORTS of things you can learn, and, without too much fuss either!

Picking up the Basics:

Now, I know that a lot of people reading this article are thinking, “Davvi! I don't know ANYTHING about engineering but, it looks super fun and interesting! How do I get started?” I would say back, if I could hear your thoughts, that I am happy to tell you that getting started in engineering is actually pretty easy! Back in Gnomeregan, the basics of engineering were taught in the public school system along with things like mathematics, Common, Dwarvish and phys-ed. To my knowledge, none of the other Alliance races do this sort of thing though, and instead have a system of apprenticeship or, sometimes, private trainers, where a more experienced mekgineer will let newcomers be their helpers, or will teach lessons for a fee. Luckily, most every major city it seems, has at least a few skilled engineers who are willing to help, and generally speaking, as long as you are nice and polite when you ask, a city guards or one of the locals will be able to help direct you to to a seasoned mekgineer no problem! In no time at all, you'll know the proper way to hold a hammer, ad, how to forge and thread nuts and bolts, and even how to make things like your first pair of goggles!

Practice, Practice, Practice:

Now, it's all well and good, to have a more experienced engineer teach you the basics, in fact, it's really super necessary, to have access to a smart and friendly trainer or master mekgineer to teach you things you don't know. However, at the same time, you also really, really REALLY need to practice your tinkering if you want to improve your skill! They say “practice makes perfect!” and, I believe that that really is true, because, say you wanted to make some special bolts for an engine your building, but you make a mistake the first time. The second time, will you make that same mistake again? Maybe. But! By the third or fourth time, at most, you definitely would understand where you went wrong, and you'd never ever make that same mistake again! In this same way, each time you build something, each time you practice, you learn a little bit more, maybe about a more efficient way to do something, or about machining tolerances, or, it may even give you a super great idea for a whole new device altogether! This is why, it's super important not to get discouraged, even when it seems you may have to practice a LOT to improve your skills!

Schematics:

A schematic is a sort of blueprint or plan that engineers make to accurately depict how a device is fabricated and assembled, and with modern printing technology, I'm super happy to tell you that there are more schematics and engineering manuals available today than ever before! With a little silver and a quick trip to the auction house, or to your favorite engineering supplier, you can bring home schematics for any number of super great and useful inventions! Depending on your skill level, or the materials you have at hand, you might not be able to build them all right away, and sometimes, sellers will want a lot of money for certain schematics based on patent rights and desirability, but that doesn't mean that you can't go out and find something you can use right away! There being so many engineers out there, both on Azeroth and in the Outlands, it's also not surprising that there are schematics out there that not even the most experienced trainer knows about! Hand-drawn plans, or top secret designs that might not be readily available, except to more “adventurous” people. Once you know the basics, collecting new and wonderful schematics can be fun AND educational!

Advanced Engineering:

After you've learned the basics of engineering and everything your trainer and schematics can teach you, you may need to seek out new instructors or blueprints, that are more advanced than the ones you are using right now. Although fighting is always bad, and war is a terrible and super scary thing, wars often bring about great innovations in both magic and science, and as a result of the battles that took place in the Outlands a few years ago and the recent war against the Scourge, engineers have been able to learn a great many new and exciting things. If you were to go to the Outlands, you can still find groups of native Outlanders and settlers from Azeroth who are consummate engineers with a lot to teach you. With the majority of the Alliance's top scientists and mekgineers still stationed in Northrend, places like Valiance Keep, and Valgarde, and the city of Dalaran have become amazing places for engineers to study and conduct their experiments. Since engineering is all about change and improvement and innovation, you can't afford to only learn from the sources you have around you, but, you have to be willing to go out into the world and search for bigger, better, newer inventions and schematics, to apprentice under better masters and sometimes, to go to places you might even find just a little bit scary.

Well, I really really hope that you enjoyed my article! I really really hope that you were able to learn something, even if you're not an engineer and read this article by mistake. Although it may seem like a lot of work, and may seem too hard, training your engineering skill, practicing and seeking out new things to learn and build is super important and very, very rewarding! Next week, we will start to talk about the two main branches of engineering, and the different fun and interesting things that can be learned from each of them! Be well, and, enjoy the rest of this fine publication!

November Issue - Ask Asteris

by Philomene Asteris

"I've spent most of my life running away from something, and despite that fact, it found me. And in this something, I found that I could be really happy. I wasn't trapped like I thought I would be... until I lost it. At least I think I have. I'm not sure. I'm too scared to approach the matter openly, or even in secret... I broke trust and faith with something I said I never would. How can I fix my problem? Or at least... stop feeling so sorry for myself. I am not really all that fond of being miserable."

Dear Lost,

Few people are actually fond of being miserable. Just a thought. If I have interpreted this rambling correctly, you broke faith with someone -- though you said 'something', I am really hoping it wasn't a 'thing' since the tone of this missive indicates romantic troubles -- and want to know how to fix it. Fear not, Lost. You already know what your problem is: you're untrustworthy. Which means you already have the power to 'fix' this. As to your request for tips on how to 'stop feeling sorry' for yourself: if winning this person's trust back is important to you at all, I suggest you cease expending energy on self-imposed martyrdom and set to work learning how not to cross boundaries of trust. Turn your attention to the things within your reach.

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"I'm in love!! problem is 1. She doesn't know, 2) She is a member of the Horde, she is soo strong, not to metion sneeky an sly, like myself. When I travel through Orgrimmar, i see her, and my heart skips a beat. Please help"

Dear Lovesick,

You bring up the fact that she is a member of the Horde, and then mention your travels through Orgrimmar. If I add these two facts with your not-so-clever signature I find myself led to believe you are some sort of a spy working in Kalimdor. Does it occur to you that perhaps if you spent more time working and less time drooling over the locals your problem would solve itself?

Whilst I cannot throw stones at anyone looking outside their race romantically (my kal'dorei husband is likely reading this and smirking) I admit I do not find it likely your lady love would be amenable to your pursuit -- were you to make your interests known -- seeing as how you are SPYING on her PEOPLE.

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"There's this girl I like, but I am not sure what I should do about it. She's very pretty, well mannered, and soft spoken. Her family comes from good lines I'm sure, as she is also very proper. My family has a much more, coloured, background. I've asked her on walks, and we've spoken. But how do I go about letting her know I want to pursue more? (Without scaring her off.)"

Dear Not-Sure,

Are you getting your friends to write to me as well? Nether take me, all these letters sound the same.

At any rate, you say you have spoken with her and gone for walks. Unless she is some sort of a dullard she has likely already grown wise to you. Try talking less and communicating more. I hear that works. In the meanwhile, consider this: if the social divide is too much for her to ignore, do you want her anyway?

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"Everyday I wake up and my house is shaking! I get it all put back into order and it's already started to shake again! What is going on with these nether damned Earthquakes!?"

Dear Shaken,

If I knew the answer to this, likely King Varian Wrynn would have me firmly ensconced in his throne room on a handy fainting couch, so that I may render him the answers to any other question he might have.

Oh, and there would be a fan. A fan with feathers, that I could wave lazily during the warm months between my grand (and infallible!) proclamations. Perhaps a bowl of moonberries, chilled just-so.

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"Recently I attended a Hallow's End party. I got drunk as a skunk and wound up sleeping with my superior officer. We never took off our masks, so I don't think she knows it was me. Should I tell her? Or pretend this never happened!?"

Dear Drunk,

I was not aware skunks imbibed. Learn something new every day. So, let me get this straight: You had a night of drunken passion with someone in your chain of command, under the guise of anonymity. And said officer has not said anything to you about this. And you want to ruin the delightful memory of this tryst by talking about it. To someone who could potentially deny you promotion forever.

I would examine this more closely, but it is making my head hurt.

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"Though I'm tempted t'write to "Sadistic Sally." You asked to hear about th'continued situation. Still knocked up. Have narrowed th'donor's list down t'about three fellas. My question now is. Once I find this fucker, what do I do? Will he give a shit? I'm not really big on the relationship thing. Few folks suggest I should try if I intend t'keep the kid, which I do. What do you think? - Baking a Brat"

Dear Baking-A-Brat,

My greetings to you once again! I am glad you took time out of your busy daddy-hunting schedule to drop me a line. You know, someone once used to address me by the name 'Sally'. He is dead. Take from that what you will.

On the topic of your likely-burgeoning belly and the question of what to do once you've located the gentlem (I tried to write that with a straight face and could not manage the trick of it.)

I have no idea if this person will, as you so colorfully put it, 'give a shit'. If you do not desire a relationship, then don't attempt to have one. Likely, once the child is born you will have your hands full trying to raise said infant without adding to it by trying to carry on a relationship you don't sound like you want.

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"Firstly, I'd like to tell you that I just love your name! "Philomene." It just sounds so delicate and refined. A name for a lovely sophisticate! I'm very keen on names you see, poetic and inspiring names, which, brings me to the real reason I'm writing in. My husband and I are about to have our first child, you see, and I've been thinking quite hard on what to name him or her when the time comes. However, my husband hasn't liked ONE of the beautiful, strong, unique names I've suggested! He'd rather name the child "Jack" or "Mary," or something equally prosaic and dull! Am I wrong for wanting my child to come into the world with a wonderful name?"

Dear Nameless,

Thank you for the compliment on my name. I assure you I had little to do with its being assigned to me. The solution to your problem is a simple one: let your husband choose a first name, something sensible, and then choose the second name yourself according to your whims. But for the sake of your soon-to-arrive child, please do not pick anything that rhymes.

November Issue - Home and Hearth

by Cyda Gwae'nóna

In a time where it is considered easier to make your way to an Alchemists Lab, or the nearest Cathedral or Temple to cure an illness, often the simplest tried and true methods of tending common ailments have been all but forgotten. In this and the following articles I will be writing to share with those who would lend an ear, or at least wish to save a little gold, how to use the most common treatments with the highest efficiency and best outcomes. This article will not, however cover any particular herb, but rather, several different remedies for aching muscles due to either toiling in the fields to collect the harvest, or adventuring.

During the Harvest Season especially, we work the hardest. Be it to bring in the harvest, or prepare ourselves and our homes for the oncoming winter seasons... along with the chill in the air and the leaves changing their colors, a certain sign of the changing seasons experienced by young and old is the muscle and bone pains felt.

Muscles tend to ache for a number of different reasons, ranging from age to stress and illness, but most commonly due to the simple fact that a person overuses their body. Bone aches are caused by mostly the same, along with old breaks healed over and strain, thankfully the remedy used for one can often double as the remedy for the other.

Firstly, in attempts to prevent these sorts of injuries, one should always rest well before partaking in strenuous activities. Eat two Tel'Abim Bananas every day for muscles and three or four shelled walnuts for bone pains. If one is not particularly fond of the texture of either foods, it is suggested to eat plenty of Banana Bread. While it is not as high in the various nutrients found in the two foods separately, there is some good to be had from it. A second, highly suggested method of prevention would be to make certain that you are wearing the proper footwear. While it is near impossible to find a comfortable shoe that is also protective, it is easy to commission your local Leatherworker for a set of padded soles for the shoes you wear. Finally, drink plenty of water and be sure to stretch before any and all activities. I cannot press upon you just how important these two things are!

The most commonly suggested method of mending one’s aches is of course, give it time. Lay down and allow your body time to recuperate from the day’s work. Granted, not always can a person allow themselves the luxury of rest. In this case massage the area afflicted with pain with mustard oil, and use a hot/cold compress by dipping a cloth in hot water or wrap a cloth around heated stones. Once the cloth or stones cool, remove and replace with a towel dipped in cold water (Or if you are lucky enough to have a mage near at hand, ice wrapped in a towel will be better still yet.) Repeat the hot and cold presses until the pain has subsided.

Another, rather simple and cheap method to help mend one’s muscles would be to dissolve two cups of Epsom Salt in hot bath water, while a strange suggestion it has been noted by many healers to help speed the process of healing torn muscles. If one is incapable of getting their hands on the Salt, however, using the leaves from the Silverleaf plant found in the same areas as Peacebloom, in a hot bath will help soothe inflamed muscles. If one does not have a time for a full, long soak, a wash can easily be prepared. One ounce of Silverleaf Leaves per pint of warm water. Dip a piece of cloth in the wash and apply over pain-affected areas.

Lastly, if the pains persist beyond the remedies I’ve listed, the dried bark of the Starwood Trees used to brew a tea will most certainly remove any and all aches a body feels after a strenuous day. Steep the bark in hot water for half an hour and drink three to four cups daily. This cure is also helpful for reducing fevers, boosting a person’s natural defences against illnesses and monthly cramping. It, however is not to be used often as the side effects from accidental overdosing are sever. Some side effects include, upset stomach, ulcers, bleeding of the stomach, nausea, skin rashes and vomiting. If one must resort to this final method of curing their aches, it is strongly advised to seek out the local apothecary for proper dosages.

In closing, aches and pains from the harvest season, cold and reckless adventuring or the combination of all of these things can be prevented with a few simple to preform tasks and common sense, but if one forgets to do these things, there are a variety of easy, cheap and readily accessible remedies at hand. I am of the hopes that this article has been useful to you, my readers, and I am of the hopes that next month you will join me as I outline the cures of the various illnesses that come with the snow and Greatfather Winter!

November Issue - Whispers and Rumors

Now you better be sitting down for this, honey. Wait til you hear what my sources have been telling me lately...

Bankers in Booty Bay have confirmed that Baron Revilgaz, the magistrate and richest citizen of that city, has recently withdrawn most of his personal wealth from their coffers. Popular rumor has it that he's transferred his assets to a "secure hiding spot."

Several groups of adventurers have laid independent claims to having defeating the Hallow's End menace known colloquially as the "Headless Horseman," sending him to a true death once and for all. However, none of these parties have been able to offer more proof than pumpkin rings and handfulls of tricky treats to substantiate their stories.

Stormwind officials have once again denied allegations that the city's canals are home to monsters or aquatic beasts of any kind.

According to the Magisters of the Stormwind Academy of Arcane Arts and Sciences, some young mages have begun experimenting with potions meant to "enhance certain physical characteristics." Such potions are not sanctioned or endorsed by the Stormwind Academy.

In the past four months there have been no less than twenty deaths in the mage District of Stormwind. About twelve of these can be attributed to the recent earthquakes and arcane mishaps, but the other eight appear to be murder. Upon investigation, it appears the use of Fel Magic was involved. Could there be a rogue Warlock or Warlocks loose in Stormwind?

Exploding rats have been discovered in the Deeprun Tram. Terrorist Leper Gnomes are thought to be behind these incidents.

Allegedly, during Brewfest someone attempted to take the Gordok Ogre Brew out of the competition by spiking it with ram urine. However, most regulars who tasted the brew commented on its improvement over last year's showing.

Murdered Knightlord identified as Vaelthras Darkstrider! Believed to have been done in by a Deathknight who goes by the name of Deroxx, who is still at large! Any information regarding this Deathknight can be turned into Master Arthamir Dawnstrider.

According to rumor the woman 'Amara', whom one Ruby Astherion had a bounty set on some time ago, was discovered to have been eluding the Dragonsworn Council by hiding in their very tavern off-and-on for months! Very diligent, those who operate the Wyrmhearth!

A pushy woman named Hildwyn, apparently a bartender at the Wyrmhearth, ran off a death knight recently, stating the death knight's presence would 'run off other customers'. One wonders how Lexix got in the door. Perhaps it's love!

On the evening of Saturday, 30 October, a night elf collapsed on the steps to the Wyrmhearth, wounded and spitting blood. The Matron's quote: 'Well, don't let hiss blood sstain the sstonework. That iss really not the image we want when people firsst arrive.' Sounds like a sweet bunch.

On a related note, people were seen dragging a mostly-lifeless-looking body into the Wyrmhearth's kitchen on the same evening. Said body was later removed and buried in the Thelsamar graveyard. What went on in that kitchen, I wonder? I guess the secret of what goes into those Red Hot Dragon Wings is no longer a secret!

An ogre known to be associated with a certain group of assorted misfits was heard to publicly threaten to kill an infant, much to the chagrin of the mother. Oddly, the ogre's 'handlers' did not find this at all inappropriate for a social gathering, much less a Spooktacular.

Servitors of Lothar Advisor Aasylli the Frostborn was seen recently in public sporting a grotesquely disfigured back and a distinct lack of her signature long hair and spotless tabard. One wonders what has heralded this change in the normally vain and meticulous draenei.

November Issue - Around Town

with Fiammeta Castelon

October was a bustling month for events!

On the 5^th of the month Nightsong Militia held a celebration for their Fourth Anniversary. Congratulations to them! The celebration was held in depths of the Stranglethorn Veil and the highlights (apart from the amazing atmosphere) were definitely the free flowing drinks.

Undercover sources report the presence of several disguised members of the Alliance at this party. However, identities will not be disclosed for these individuals safety.

On the 23^rd the “Big Bad Wolf” hosted the Servitors of Lothar's Third Annual Spooktacular. As predicted, a highly entertaining evening. Festivities were kicked off with the Three Legged Race, which was very literal this season. Racers were asked to select a severed limb from a crate and attempt to run with it attached to themselves. Several guests were clearly disturbed.

After the race attendees were ushered inside for refreshments and dancing. The former consisted of what appeared to be brains and entrails (but tasted of stew) and a drink made to look like blood. After the nature of the Three Legged race some were not reassured by the host's assurances that the food only appeared to be body parts.

The evening wound down with a spooky story contest (though frankly half of the tales told were ridiculous) and ended with the announcement of who had won best costume. Ogumel the dwarf took first prize dressed as an orc. Philomene Asteris took second dressed as Whitemane (complete with an escort of what appeared to be a Doan and Locksey). Maesaeloria Nash and an unknown guest tied for third. Nash having dressed as a Sinister Squashling and the other woman as a Geist.

On the 26^th there was a meeting of Silvermoon's Blood Knights. Not an entertaining event, but informative. Topics Discussed included: The retirement of Knight-Lord Seana Aesire, the murder of Knight-Lord Vaelthras Darkstrider, and the reminder that the Blood Knights are an Elite Military Force, sworn to defend and protect their people. They are not City Guardsmen.

On the 29th was Magistratus’s Second Annual Hallow’s End Masquerade. Free Flowing drinks were provided by the Wayfarers’ Rest, fortune telling to guests was provided by an unnamed gypsy. The evening was damped slightly by a robed figure who spoke of impending doom. Party goers dressed in costumes danced all through the night in the Gallows’ End Tavern.

November promises to be calmer, but there will still be opportunities for you to get out of the house!

Look forward to the Wayward Son Tavern being open weekly on Mondays from 8pm – 9pm and Tuesdays from 6pm – 8pm. The Sword and Stein will also be open Thursdays from 8pm – 9pm. Both taverns can be found in Stormwind Park.

If you crave something a little more savory for your soul Brother Gideone Stone will be holding a sermon this month. Details to be announced, watch your local sign posts!

November Issue - Letters to the Editor

Re: Turning Blue in Stormwind - Letters to the Editor October Issue

The Son used to have a Stag Night, but as the people who ran it have moved on to only working the bar one night a week, it's been rather hard to specialize and theme these things. Furthermore... every last one of the dancers that used to cater to your sort have all gone and gotten themselves pregnant. So, unless you've a thing for stretchmarks and sagging breasts, I'd suggest oogling the sweet young teal haired thing that runs the bar twice a month (I've actually heard that she's single now too!) or you could always head on down to Goldshire and choke a few chickens.

- Brew-Dancer, Westguard Keep

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Re: A Haunting Season - October Issue

It’s horrible of you to bring suspicions on all these innocent places. And that picture from the Blue Recluse is OBVIOUSLY altered!

- Naysayer, Northshire


I’ve seen these children myself! Indecent if you ask me. Where are there parents at while they’re out worshipping Light knows what?!

- Sally Gordon, Goldshire

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Re: Getting Down to Nuts and Bolts - October Issue

I’ll have you know I am a goblin with ALL of my fingers. I’ve seen more one-eyed gnomes!

- GoblinsForEver, Gadgetzan

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Re: Ask Asteris - October Issue

In regards to Horribly Confused, I believe you give terrible advise! What self respecting woman would share a man she loves? I agree that fighting would raise a ruckus, but sharing is worse! Not only will the woman in question be unable to ever respect herself again if she chose to follow your advice and share, but no one else around would respect her either. Horribly Confused, I think you should drop the guy like the boar he is and find someone who will love you right back with all his heart! Editor, I think you should screen your advise column better!

- Sharing isn’t always Caring, Everlook

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Re: Home and Hearth - October Issue

I’ll admit it, your methods, while disgusting to think of, really help! I was dreading the bellyaching of my passel of children this year but thanks to your suggestions I was able to bypass the tears! Can you maybe write something about how to get rid of the sniffles next?

-Relieved Housewife, Elwynn


It’s a damn good thing yer articles come after Ask Asteris! I get entertainment fer when I’m usin’ the john, an’ somethin’ to clean up after! Keep ‘em comin’, as I’m runnin’ outta paper fer mi arse. Y’know... the same place yer pull’n all these hokey ‘cures’ from!

-Sparklyclean where th’ Sundun’shine, Ironforge

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Re: Falling Into the Season - October Issue

Them forsaken be a menace to any good and self respectin’ light fearin’ person! What’s all that hokey-pokey about killin’ all those who oppose them? Bah! They come down here weekly an’ slaughter our hard workin’ farmin’ men and boy-folk! And now with Hallows End on us, they’re rainin’ all those stink bombs on top of us too! Someone should take a torch t’ their rotten backsides! We don’t need t’know what those horrible creatures do to celebrate their unnatural state of bein’! We need someone t’lead a charge against them!

- Tired o’ th’dyin’ an’ th’stink, Southshore


If my daddy were alive... he’d kill that rotten old horseman!

- Just another orphan, Stormwind

November Issue - Ads

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Down the Hatch! Apothecary and Alchemical Shop

Looking to gain an edge over your foes? Trying to cure that nasty head cold? Or even simply wishing to spruce up your residence with some new fragrances?

Then stop on by Down the Hatch! We're a brand new potion shop located in the Park in Stormwind City, just across from the Wayward Son Tavern!

We stock, brew, and ship potions, elixirs, and products of all kinds for almost any need ranging from medicines to cooking herbs to weapon coatings.

Contact Maesaeloria Nash or Brommidor Stonebrow (Proprietors of DtH) for a free* product catalogue and order forms or stop on by our shop to browse around!

((*Product Catalogue and Order Forms are GHI items made specifically for our shop. Please peruse them for our list of products. Our products are all GHI items and we plan on "selling" them to any interested parties. Actual monetary exchange may or may not occur depending on personal preference. We are also actual alchemists and can create actual potions as well.))

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Seeking: Looking for extra pay in the evenings? Like to meet new people? The Wayward Son is currently arranging private auditions for Stag Night entertainment. Dancers are expected to be clean, punctual, good-natured, and flexible. References required.

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Interested in advertising with us? Give it a go! Sell a shirt, or find a date!

- Personal Ads - 5g

- Crafting Ads - 10g

- Guild Ads - 20g

October Issue - A Haunting Season

by Fiammeta Castelon

Frost clings to the cobblestones in the early morning chill, reminding us that fall is here. And with it Hallow's End comes around the corner. For some, a time to celebrate the end of the harvest. For others, a reminder of their hard won freedom. It's true that we make light of the holiday now. Painting faces and wearing masks, giving out candy. It's easy to forget that there are true monsters waiting for us. Some, closer than expected.

I decided to investigate some of the rumors that circulate. Hauntings in places that the most common among us travel daily. I am chilled by what I have found...

My first stop was a home nestled in Elwynn Forest near the town of Goldshire. Hidden among the trees it looked like an average house, two story, white washed. Fishmongers dealt on the docks outside and Adele Fielder and Helene Peltskinner teach their leatherworking and skinning trades inside, seemingly making an honest living.

A group of children ran and played outside. No one could tell me who they belonged to. I watched them for a time before they decided to head indoors. It was when I decided to follow after, that I found the disturbing nature of this home. The children had all entered one of the bedrooms.

Standing in the doorway I could see them clearly, forming a pentagram. Staring blankly, silent and unresponsive, they held this shape. I lingered, trying to discern the purpose of these actions. As I began to consider leaving this unusual home, I heard it. A scream that echoed within my mind and a clear voice that stated, “You will die.” I admit, dear readers, that I could no longer

remain.

My second stop took me to the Trade District of Stormwind. Many of you have likely stopped in at the Barber Shop, to let Jelinek Sharpshear give you that new cut or curl. But perhaps it is time you consider just how much you want taken off the top.

While my Sayaad kept Mr. Sharpshear occupied in his shop, I found my way to the small apartment he keeps above. A bit of probing about found a loose floor board, under which lay a grizzly discovery. Two skeletons found their final rest here. They looked gnomish by height and size of their skulls. One clutched in its hand what appeared to be a razor and comb. Most definitely something of gnomish technology but difficult to discern after corrosion.

I made my exit before Mr. Sharpshear could discover what I was up to. A quick visit to the Royal Factor of the City Hall was in order. He informed me that before Mr. Sharpshear took over the lease of the Barber Shop, one Sween Neetod held ownership. Mr. Neetod signed off and Mr. Sharpshear has been running the business sense. Very curious indeed. So who is the true villain? Will there ever be justice for the poor souls trapped under that floor? And will you, my readers, ever feel safe when the barber of Stormwind asks you to tip your head back for a close shave?

My third and final stop was to the Blue Recluse Tavern. Located in the Mage Quarter, of Stormwind. Several sources had told me a trainer in the tower suspected a rift is forming in the tavern itself! All trainers I questioned on this firmly denied that anything was amiss. However, I got different reactions from local patrons.

One woman claims that a week ago she was eating dinner at the Blue Recluse when something pulled her chair out from underneath her. A man reports tripping over something when nothing was there. Most other reports seem to follow the same pattern, thumps and bumps at all hours of day and night coming from areas that by all appearances are empty.

Being a student of the dark arcane, I have certain abilities at my disposal. I was able to enter the tavern after hours in attempt to see what caused these disturbances. What I witnessed were elemental or void beings the size of a large gnome (or small dwarf). They crawl upon everything and will react violently if interfered with. I urge you readers to tread with caution and take your patronage elsewhere.

In conclusion, dear readers. Let the season be a reminder to you to remain alert. Lest you fall prey to the unseen threats that populate our world.

This image was difficult to capture as the creatures are not visible to the common eye. The result is blurred and a touch grainy, but I assure you very real.

October Issue - Getting Down to Nuts and Bolts: Engineering made Fun and Easy!

by Mekgineer Davvi Dolittle

Hello everyone! How are you? I hope you're doing well! If you're reading this article, then, you must have an interest in building all sorts of super neat machines and gadgets to make the lives of you, your friends and family much easier and more fun! Unless, you don't like engineering and are reading it by mistake. Either way, welcome! I hope you like what you read! I'm excited!

Safety: How to not be blown up, or Vaporized

Last month, we covered all the super neat and useful tools that engineers new and old need to work, and that was super fun, but, there are still a few things that we need to talk about, that are even MORE super important than having the right tools! That super-duper important thing is safety in the workshop and laboratory! I am very very serious when it comes to safety, because, I don't want to get hurt, or worse, get other people hurt because of a silly mistake! I bet that none of you do either! So, this month, we're going to go over some of the basics of safety, so that, the only explosions that happen are those you want to go off, and so that you stay safe during detonation!

Proper Storage and Handling Procedures:

Now, we engineers don't only use regular old metal or wood or leather when we build things. Sometimes, we use super rare and hard to find materials, and sometimes, these materials can be very dangerous when stored or handled incorrectly! There are three rules that you have to follow when storing or handling dangerous materials!

The first is, you have to really understand the nature of the material you're working with, so that you don't treat it in such a way that puts yourself or someone else in danger. For example, you might say, “Davvi! As long as I keep explosives away from fire, and as long as I don't shake them up too much, everything should be okay, right?” And, I might say back to you, yes, while it's important to keep explosives away from open flames and transport it SUPER carefully, but also, it's important to NEVER make general assumptions about dangerous engineering materials! For instance, the most powerful of explosives is Seaforium, which actually detonates when it comes in contact with water and not fire! Did you know that? If you didn't, you might have blown up your whole workshop. And the house next door!

The second super important rule is, never ever store materials in their most reactive forms! Again bringing up the case of Seaforium, while it is super reactive and explosive when it comes in contact with water, the base materials out of which it is made are by themselves nearly inert! It therefor makes a LOT more sense to store dangerous materials in their most basic, non-reactive forms to be safely combined later into the final product. While it may take more time to create a new batch of the final product this way for each project you are working on, it is NOT something you should be lazy about! It might not save you time now but it will save you fingers later! I'm talking to you, Goblin Engineers!

The final rule builds on rules one and two, in choosing appropriate storage media for your dangerous materials once you have learned about them and have already got them in their most nonreactive states. All explosives should be stored in stone or metal containment vessels or cabinets, far away from open flames and in some cases sealed against destabilizing oxidation or moisture. Some people say that Saronite, on the other hand, sort of whispers to people, and can make them act angry or scared. As a result, many engineers and blacksmiths too choose to store their Saronite ore and bars in a box or container with holy blessings put on it. I would say though, that good earplugs might work too! Even if you have to have a container specially built to safely store your dangerous materials, it is most definitely worth it, because nothing is more inconvenient than coming home to discover that your workshop has been blown into the Twisting Nether.

Proper Working Attire and Dress:

When I say, that you have to wear the proper attire, I don't mean something like formal wear, or casual wear! I mean work wear! Believe it or not, what you wear DEFINITELY contributes to your personal safety at work!

For instance, have you ever seen a seasoned mekgineer wearing a ball gown, or a tuxedo with the tails while they're working? No! They might be wearing an old pair of pants and shirt or overalls, which are my favorite. The reason for this is that loose garments can be easily caught in spinning machine parts, which can cause SEVERE injury, or even rip the clothes right off you and leave you naked! For this reason, tinkerers should wear not so loose fitting clothing, but something that hugs you a bit more. Also, for this same reason, dangly jewelry that can catch on things should be avoided as well! And also, for you girl engineers, and some of you boys too, if you have long hair, or a pony tail like me, you should pin it up into a bun or something, so that your hair doesn't get caught either! That would be SUPER horrible.

Many engineers are always seen wearing goggles, and this is not only because they're super neat and good looking! Goggles are also very practical, not only for examining different spectra of light or heat, or for magnification and targeting, but also, to keep sparks and stray metal filings and things out of your eyes! A good mekgineer will always wear a leather or rubber apron and gloves while welding, metalworking and ESPECIALLY while working with corrosive or explosive compounds! While working with dangerous materials such as these, the more skin you can cover up the better! Another important addition to the safety-wardrobe is boots that have steel or even titanium reinforced toes! This way, if something heavy were to accidentally fall onto your foot, your toes would remain safe under the strong metal cap!

Well, I really really hope that you enjoyed my article! I really really hope that you were able to learn something, even if you're not an engineer and read this article by mistake. For today, I want to remind you that every engineer has to keep safety in mind at all times, from the storage of dangerous materials to the way they dress in the workshop! A burned or pinched engineer is not a happy engineer! Be well, and, enjoy the rest of this fine publication!