It's that time of year again. Spring is coming, the sun is shining, flowers are in bloom, and love is in the air. Many of you find yourselves alone yet again this year and what's a girl to do? Well I'm here to tell you how to nab yourself a noble.
First things first honey. Your wardrobe needs a makeover. Toss out those dreary “comfortable” robes you've been holding onto and ditch the wool. Accentuate your attributes. You need to sizzle! A man with money has options, he can get anything and anyone he wants. You have to look good at all times if you are going to turn heads. This means doing your hair too. That rat's tail you have pulled back might say “hard worker” but it's not helping you any! And do not be afraid of makeup. Don't know enough about it for yourself? There are friendly sales clerks in Dalaran eager to give you a free make-over and show you what you need.
The next step is learning how to play the part. If you look and act like you belong in his world, your chances are greatly improved.
Avoid the following in your habits: swearing, drinking, drugs, laughing loudly, aggressive behavior, and overly flashy fashion. He isn't looking for “one of the boys” now, he wants a lady. Dressing to impress is not the same as dressing like a Goldshire whore. The key here is elegance. Remember, class and refinement.
If you haven't gotten a formal education, learn to fake it. Spend at least an hour a day committed to reading a book on religion, culture, history or the study of another interesting subject that will make you a decent conversationalist. He does not want to talk to a rock after all. However, also remember that listening is an art. His interests come first. Be attentive.
Take up the hobbies of the wealthy. Learn things like horseback riding, fencing, croquet, and any other activities that may place you in the same circles. Go where he goes. Shared interests offer more opportunities.
This may sound obvious, but be an amazing lover. You don't want to sleep with him right away, but when you do you want him to remember it. Take a message class and learn the sensual art of touching and how to spoil him.
Now that you have a list of ways to better yourself and increase your chances of nabbing a noble, here are a few more things to avoid...
Never cling! Always plan alone time and time with friends to give a man his space. He wants to know you are your own woman and won't be bothering him constantly.
Never take money from him before you are at least engaged. This will file you into the category of “gold digger” or “mistress” and girls if you wind up there you aren't going any further. Also, if he thinks he can buy you you'll never get his respect.
On the same note, never aim for a married man unless you're content to sit at “mistress” for the rest of your days.
Never get pregnant as a ploy to hold onto him. This may seem obvious, but many girls think it's the perfect solution. This never ends well, ladies. If you're a single mother, forget a rich man you'll be lucky to land that poor bastard sweeping the streets.
Don't take him home to mommy and daddy too soon. It suggest you are serious, which may give him cold feet. And never underestimate the fear factor of your relations, they might very well scare him off.
Never flirt with his relations unless you're positive things with him are going nowhere. He doesn't want to see you cuddling up to Cousin Steve when you're supposed to be deeply interested in him. He will not find this “cute”.
Remember, if you are willing to put in the effort you might not be alone eating bon bons with Mr. Shnookums the cat next February. Good luck girls!
