Now you better be sitting down for this, honey. Wait til you hear what my sources have been telling me lately...
Bankers in Booty Bay have confirmed that Baron Revilgaz, the magistrate and richest citizen of that city, has recently withdrawn most of his personal wealth from their coffers. Popular rumor has it that he's transferred his assets to a "secure hiding spot."
Several groups of adventurers have laid independent claims to having defeating the Hallow's End menace known colloquially as the "Headless Horseman," sending him to a true death once and for all. However, none of these parties have been able to offer more proof than pumpkin rings and handfulls of tricky treats to substantiate their stories.
Stormwind officials have once again denied allegations that the city's canals are home to monsters or aquatic beasts of any kind.
According to the Magisters of the Stormwind Academy of Arcane Arts and Sciences, some young mages have begun experimenting with potions meant to "enhance certain physical characteristics." Such potions are not sanctioned or endorsed by the Stormwind Academy.
In the past four months there have been no less than twenty deaths in the mage District of Stormwind. About twelve of these can be attributed to the recent earthquakes and arcane mishaps, but the other eight appear to be murder. Upon investigation, it appears the use of Fel Magic was involved. Could there be a rogue Warlock or Warlocks loose in Stormwind?
Exploding rats have been discovered in the Deeprun Tram. Terrorist Leper Gnomes are thought to be behind these incidents.
Allegedly, during Brewfest someone attempted to take the Gordok Ogre Brew out of the competition by spiking it with ram urine. However, most regulars who tasted the brew commented on its improvement over last year's showing.
Murdered Knightlord identified as Vaelthras Darkstrider! Believed to have been done in by a Deathknight who goes by the name of Deroxx, who is still at large! Any information regarding this Deathknight can be turned into Master Arthamir Dawnstrider.
According to rumor the woman 'Amara', whom one Ruby Astherion had a bounty set on some time ago, was discovered to have been eluding the Dragonsworn Council by hiding in their very tavern off-and-on for months! Very diligent, those who operate the Wyrmhearth!
A pushy woman named Hildwyn, apparently a bartender at the Wyrmhearth, ran off a death knight recently, stating the death knight's presence would 'run off other customers'. One wonders how Lexix got in the door. Perhaps it's love!
On the evening of Saturday, 30 October, a night elf collapsed on the steps to the Wyrmhearth, wounded and spitting blood. The Matron's quote: 'Well, don't let hiss blood sstain the sstonework. That iss really not the image we want when people firsst arrive.' Sounds like a sweet bunch.
On a related note, people were seen dragging a mostly-lifeless-looking body into the Wyrmhearth's kitchen on the same evening. Said body was later removed and buried in the Thelsamar graveyard. What went on in that kitchen, I wonder? I guess the secret of what goes into those Red Hot Dragon Wings is no longer a secret!
An ogre known to be associated with a certain group of assorted misfits was heard to publicly threaten to kill an infant, much to the chagrin of the mother. Oddly, the ogre's 'handlers' did not find this at all inappropriate for a social gathering, much less a Spooktacular.
Servitors of Lothar Advisor Aasylli the Frostborn was seen recently in public sporting a grotesquely disfigured back and a distinct lack of her signature long hair and spotless tabard. One wonders what has heralded this change in the normally vain and meticulous draenei.
